The Beginning of Jayci's Day

The morning of the funeral after I had my time outside I walked in the house and Ellie was sitting on the couch. She was sad and said Mommy do I get to go see Jayci again today?! I told her yes but that today was the day we had to tell her body goodbye. It was the last time we were going to get to hold her hand and kiss her on the cheek. I told her this was the day that we had to be strong and know that Heavenly Father was there taking care of us and her. She was okay with that but asked other questions and we talked about her over and over and laughed at the things that Jayci would of done. Ellie discussed with me how much she was going to miss her. And I told her I completely agreed but that is was Heavenly Father's Plan to have her go back to him but know that we get to see her again.

To me it was absolutely perfect to get to talk about her with Ellie. Just as if Ellie knew exactly what was happening but that the same time knowing that she was really going to miss her sister. So we sat around that morning and just hung out as a family. We laughed and we cried and we knew that the time was coming near that we were going to have to say goodbye.

As we were getting ready we decided to wear purple. It was perfect. I wouldn't say that purple was Jayci's favorite color but it definitely was Ellie's. We wanted to make Ellie feel just as important as Jayci. I don't' think that Jayci wouldn't of wanted it any other way. She was absolutely mesmerized by Ellie and everything she did. So we tried to make her feel like a princess just as much as Jayci.

We wanted to get to the church before everyone else so of course in my true fashion we were heading a little bit early I was anxious to get there and see my little girl and spend as much time with her as I could before we were bombarded with people for her viewing at the church. And because we were so early we pulled in the same exact time as the Hurst and the funeral homes van. We sat in the car and watched as they got Jayci out of the car in her casket. I was completely amazed and in awe of how careful they were with her. They were treating her as if she was porcelain and would break with just a slight jult. I loved watching them with her because I knew they loved her as much as I did. They have been able to spend alot of time with her over the week and knew how precious she was to us.

As Nick was setting up the Relief Society room Layne and I set up the tables with all of Jayci's Pictures and memorabilia. There were pictures of me pregnant with her. Pictures of her through out her life and of course family pictures. A poem written for us by Amber and Jayci's blankets that she was wrapped with the morning she was pulled from the frigid cold water. They were what comforted her in that moment as she was loved so tenderly by Greg, Kari, and Emery. (which I will be forever in debtted to them for loving my baby girl at a time when I couldn't.)

As we were setting up the table Kenna arrived and took Ellie back and got pictures with her sister for the very last time. I am so grateful for them and the love that Ellie showed toward her sister. She was so sweet and tender with her just as she always had been. When I look at the pictures that Kenna took I see Jayci there I see her smiling at her sister and telling her she was okay and that she needed to be tough for Mom and Dad. Ellie was Jayci's protector. If anyone even thought about holding Jayci, Ellie was right there telling them that she was her little sister and she had to go home with her. I know in the pre-existance they were best friends and it continued from the moment that baby girl entered this world.

Ellie is a little difficult and wanted to do her own thing so we let her roam the church and sit and do what ever she wanted while we were at the viewing. Thank goodness she felt like she was a helper, helping Jana play the prelude music and then again helping Lisa in the kitchen. I had a corsage made for her to wear so she could feel just as special as the guys that put flowers on their suits. She loved it and showed everyone. She loved the flowers that everyone so kindly sent us she continued going up to them and smelling them. She played in the playroom until it was time for the family prayer.