Introducing....

Laney Marcine Darrington
7 lbs 8 oz
18 1/2 inches long
August 25, 2012
(Lots more coming soon...)

38 weeks and Counting...

I am getting a little desperate to have this baby girl here with me. I have ached and needed her for so long that it's basically about ready to drive me bananas.  I have been to the doctor the last two weeks being dilated to a 3 and 70% effaced at -2. But do you think she is ready to come out? NOOOOO..... I have done all the walking this fat little pregnant lady can do and still nothing.  I'm grateful to still feel her kick and squirm all the time to let me know she is still in there but seriously. 

This pregnancy has probably been my easiest when it comes to how sick or tired I have been. I know it has alot to do with the fact that I am only chasing Ellie. And when I say chasing Ellie it means sleeping on the couch and telling her to make her own lunch. HAHAHA not really but some days it's nice to know she can. She has grown up so much before my eyes the last year. I have loved watching her take care of me. I know she doesn't realize that she has but for the last nine months I have been her number one concern.  I'm pretty sure it's not as much me as it is the baby. SHE CANNOT WAIT to get her sister here to take care of. If she feels she is in danger in any way shape or form she FREAKS!!! Every morning for the last week we have woke up and she says, "Mom why are you still here? When is that baby coming out?"  Basically, were all just getting a little impatient.

This whole pregnancy I have been saying how huge I am. So I really wanted to measure myself from the other girls and at Ellie's baby shower six years ago we played a game with measuring my belly with a string and everyone had to guess how big I was. I kept the original string and put it in Ellie's baby book and pulled it out with Jayci and now this little lady and would you believe I'm a tad bit smaller now then I was with the other girls. I think it's because I have just carried this little one REALLY LOW....  (So low, that sometimes I wonder if it really is a girl or maybe even a sweet little boy.)  Guess we'll wait and see!!!

I do know that there is a happy ending to all of this and that will be on August 24th. I have opted to change the date for various reasons but if she is not graced us with her presence by next Friday she will be here on the day.  Alot of changes are about to happen in this family and I'm looking forward to every single one of them. 

I know with our angel Jayci and our Father in Heaven looking over us it's going to be good. Really Good! Love and miss you sweet baby of mine... lots of love from mommy, daddy, and Ellie!!!

Daddy/Daughter Date

 July 26, 2012

Ellie's whole life has been about watching movies her Dad likes. For example, Space balls, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and The Wizard of Oz.  So when I saw that the play out in Oakley was going to be the Wizard of Oz I thought it would be a fun family affair. It just so happened the only night Layne could go I couldn't go because I had a meeting. And since I'm not really a fan, I just figured Layne and Ellie could go on a little date together. 

I had been teasing her the whole week that Daddy was taking her on a surprise and she wanted to know hints so I told her there was a lion, and a dog, and Dad told her it Started with a W. She did not appreciate our hints and finally decided she would not ask anymore but wait till it happened.  She hates surprises just like me so it's fun to torture her a little bit. Layne said when they got there she wasn't quite sure what was going on until the lady that sat them down was the wicked witches sister in real life. And then she started to figure out what was going on. SHE LOVED IT!!! Her favorite characters were Glenda the Good Witch and Cowardly the Lion.  Her favorite part was when the wicked witch took a rose and tore all the pedals off saying I hate her I hate her not I hate her I hate her not... I hate her I hate her I hate her and she tore the rose to shreds. 

When they got home it was 10:30 and she fell asleep on the way home. The play was 2 1/2 hours but well worth their time.  I love that Layne is the kind of Dad that looks forward to doing things like that with his little girls. And they love it in return. Since Ellie is one that never forgets anything she often reminds me that it's either time for another date or talks about the past ones they have been on.

I sure love these two over the moon and back. I cannot wait till little princess 3 gets here so we can love on her too!

Tea at high noon

While we were working on the babies room. I didn't feel like Ellie should be around to see everything that went on around the house so she went and played at Kari's.  She had a fantastic day with TWO tea parties. 

During softball a few months back Stormie wanted to have a neighbor hood tea party and Ellie just happened to know about it and wanted to participate. She has been talking about it all summer.  She could not wait and was so glad she didn't miss it. I laughed so hard when she was telling me all about it. And the fun things they did. From talking in an English accent to Eric and Sayer sparring.

I appreciate that there are friends in our lives that love us and do things to make us happy. We have been truly blessed by people in our lives through friendships and service.  Thank you Stormie for taking the time to making Ellie feel special and have a fantastic day.  She could not of been happier to tell me all about it.  Lots of hugs from me!!!

See Ya Soon!!!

 8/2/2012
About a week ago I had been telling some friends that I wasn't ready for the baby yet because I just couldn't even go into Jayci's room, let alone clean it out for baby number 3. As we talked about it, I was emotional I hard the hardest time even thinking that I could do it alone so they offered to help. I told them that I needed it to be different. We needed a change. I still wanted it to be the babies room but it needed to be adjusted. I have been sick for a whole week just thinking about what we had to do. Thank goodness I had a week to prepare or it would of absolutely killed me. On our schedualed date I didn't even want to get out of bed. I just wanted to lay there and cry all morning. Which I did. Then I went to Jayci's room and took a few pictures. I needed to remember what it looked like. Besides throwing crap in there for a 16 months. Most things we left the exact same way she left it. I had my sisters take her bedding out and wash it and make it look the exact same. Because I knew it would take me forever to get in there if ever.  As I went in to take pictures that morning I was flooded with the loss of my baby girl. With the thoughts of Why me? And Why Now? I ache for her everyday but when you actually see things that are hers and exactly how she left them it makes it that much harder. She was real and she is and will always be a huge part of me. I looked through her stuff for awhile before everyone got there. I hugged the blanket that she was wrapped in when they found her in the water. It still smelt like the last time I ever saw her. It absolutely took me back to that exact moment..... A Moment I will never forget of pure loss and sorrow.

The hardest moment was folding up her bedding and her favorite blankie that her sister had passed on. She, like Ellie carried it with her every where she went. Once Ellie was willing to part with it. So many things were sitting right on top that she loved like her elmo's and her naked water baby that she used as a weapon against Ellie.  I was so grateful to sit in her room and ponder her and know that even though all this stuff is going down stairs in her toy box and totes... I know it's just stuff. It's stuff that I loved about her. But stuff isn't what keeps me going. It's the memories that we have made with her that we will never forget. It's the knowledge that our family is forever. It's the faith that I have to know she'll be waiting for me when I make it back to heaven! She will be holding out her arms YELLING mamama like she always did.  With out any of this I would be lost and broken.  I am so VERY grateful that I have blogged. I always knew there was a reason I always stayed on top of it. And it was so my baby girl's legacy will never be forgotten and I'll have it to look back on until... We meet again....

Before the girls got there I said a little prayer in my heart to let this day go smoothly. Let us feel of Jayci's presence and know that we can get through it.  So when they got there I felt peace. I knew it was going to be tough but it was time. It has been a room in my home that we just felt broken in everytime the door was even opened. But as we started cleaning it out it, and moving things to the dining room to go through it was very emotional. It was like we were all telling her "see ya soon..."  And she was deffinatley there telling us the same in return. I felt the love of my Savior and my Daughter all day. I know they both want Layne, Ellie and I to be happy. That it is time to move forward with the next chapter of our lives.  And honestly by the time it was all said and done. I was actually EXCITED to go into the babies room and know we were in for a new ride... One that is going to be full of adventure. And filled with the love that I have learned from my Daughter in heaven.

 ( I just have to add so I don't forget. How much I loved going through her cloths. As we sorted them by size I loved to reminisce about every piece of clothing she had. Some we laughed so hard about and others I shed tears. But It was so much fun. I love that cloths have so much meaning about one little girl... My favorite piece that we found was a plain white onesie. Only it wasn't plain white. It was so disgusting!!!! It was stained from head to toe. But that just sums that little beast up. I swear I bathed her everyday. She was always so filthy. Another piece of clothing we found was at the bottom of her toy box it was a Jammie she wore and loved... But the worst part of it all was it was soooo stinky. It smelt just like her pee-pee diapers... It was so bad I couldn't even wash it. Because it was her and her smell alone.  Sheeesh even writing about her pee diaper jammies is getting me. Anyways I love those memories I have of my little Beast!!!) 

To be a loving Mom. Be patient and kind.  To tell my children everyday how much I love them.  To never let my Jayci's Memory be forgotten. To talk about her as if she were still here.  I can do this... I can do hard things...

To say the least it was an exhausting day. I was up and I was down. But in the end. I was HAPPY!  I truly know that life can change in a blink of an eye.  And I hope I will always be willing to handle what the Lord has in store for me. 

As you can see we changed it all. We painted everything in sight including walls and all the baby furniture. I am so excited to get the bedding here and have a new look for a new princess.  (More pictures to come.)  And a big huge thank you to all those that helped. I know so many wanted to but I needed it to stay simple for me.  I love my friends dearly and cannot wait for everyone to meet my new baby girl.

Walk like a Penguin

Layne has been working all day and I have been sitting at home all day. I was ready to get out and he wasn't but I made him get out anyway.  We went to eat at the new pizza joint in town. It's all you can eat and I took full advantage. (Not to much but plenty.) Any how, as we were leaving I told Layne and Ellie we were walking over to the grocery store. Ellie wanted ice cream and I needed tonic water for my Restless leg syndrome. So as we started walking over there Ellie started waddling. Seriously, I was like what the heck are you doing and she said I'm walking like you Mom. I was like, "I do not look like that." So Dad jumps right in and starts doing the same thing. All the way to the grocery store. I of course did not laugh and told them to stop making fun of me. (But was dying of laughter on the inside.) Ellie then comes back with saying out loud in a funny voice, "My name is Krissy and I walk like a penguin." (over and over) Of course her Dad thought it was so funny and waddled all over the store with her right behind me the whole time... I sure love those two even in they do torture me just a bit. I hope walking like a penguin means BABY REALLY SOON!!!!!

My laptop is not working right now. It's not holding a charge so I need to get a battery. And that is where all my pictures are. I feel like I'm missing out on some serious blogging opportunity but I guess I'll get back at it next week after I get a battery. Until then this is all I got.

I'm headed into the doctor in the am. It's the first of my weekly check ups till I have the baby. It just seems crazy to me that nine months have already come and gone. I have and I haven't felt like I've been pregnant forever. In the last week I've finally felt like I'm ready minus one Super big problem. Okay two... I have yet to go through Jayci's room and I don't have a car seat. Problem number two is an easy fix. Jayci's room is a whole other issue in itself. I needed to go in there two weeks ago to find something and just bawled. I'd pick up a toy or a shirt hold it and sob. Needless to say I didnt find what I was looking for, I shut the door and have yet to go back in. But Thursday is the day, it's going to be a hard, very hard day. But I'm running out of time. I'm down to 23 days before d day.  I've decided since I'm still not ready to go through it I'm going to put it all in tubs and take it to the basement till I decide I'm good and ready to go through it. Then I'm going to strip it down to the bare minimum and then were going to paint, rearrange, and get new baby bedding.( Jayci's will go with her stuff!!! )

This will be a huge accomplishment for our family. I don't think layne has been in her room more times then I can count on one hand. I have to go in there to take tests since that is where our main computer is. But that is about it. We just can't to do that one last thing that needs to be done. I hate the thought that it's not going to be her room but I love the thought that baby girl number three gets to have the same room as her sister. I used to think I was just going to put Ellie and the baby together and make Jayci's room the play room but I've since changed my mind after much discussion with my hubby! It's just bittersweet!!!! I'm so excited to have a baby again but I'd give anything to have my little girl back safely in my arms. I'm learning that in a blink of jayci's eye in heaven it's taking an eternity here on earth. Everyday that passes is one day closer I'll be reunited with her and one day longer that she's been gone. What I would give to kiss those chubby cheeks one more time...

Since Dr J is allowing me to go a week early I'll be able to be induced on August 22. It took me a while to realize it but that is exactly 16 months to the day since loosing our jayci and she was 16 months old when she passed away. I find it quite a coincidence that it is all happening around 16 months. I find it will be a unique story to share with our sweet baby when she is old enough to know her sister. I can't wait to share stories about her with her sister. I can't wait till Ellie tells her sister stories about her older sisters I look forward to the time when all my kids know her and keep her apart of our family. Layne hopes that our third princess is as wild and crazy as our second so we can always be reminded of our crazy little beast. I know our lives are going to change drastically... But in the best possible way. I just pray our jayci knows how much we love and miss her. I hope when she is watching down she knows she is still a huge part of our lives. And always will be. She is a huge part of who I've become as a mother, daughter, sister and friend (on my nice non-prego days) since losing her. She taught me more about faith and knowing that my sweet family is forever then I've known my whole life.

Jayci, keep reaching down and touching our lives! Watch over your sisters help them make the best decisions so they can be with you again! I pray for you everyday to let you know your always on my mind and in my heart! Never forget how much you are loved... My sweet angel above!!!

Party on, after the reception.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reception

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wedding Ceremony