Can't ger her off my mind...

 
Last night was one of those restless, wake up in a pool of sweat kind of nights.
Every time I closed my eyes I could only see images of her. Ones that I'll never forget... The
ones that I hold nearest to my heart.  But it seems so unfair sometimes that this all I get. I'm missing out on the sound, touch, and need from that little girl. I know that her leaving was a bigger plan then I will ever know but it sure makes for a long old road for us here on earth with out her.  I can't get over the fact that in 2 months she will be gone as long as she was here. But it feels like it was just yesterday. Raw and unanswered. I am so blessed to be a mother of an angel. I know it's not a very easy road but it's one I'm learning how to deal with.  Every day is still a struggle. I ache for that laugh that really loud laugh just like her mama.  And those eyes that melt you like chocolate.  I ache for her to pull her sisters hair and run away laughing.  I just wish that hole in my heart was smaller. But it's meant to be there so I will always remember the impact she has left for me.

Today she is....
a missionary working her guts out to put families together and keep them whole. She is an angel always looking out for her family.  She is perfect sitting on the right side of the Lord. She is someone I strive to be with each and every single day.  And she is all mine..(and Layne's) She is my daughter from her through out all eternity and I cannot wait for the day that I can hold her again! 

Ellie's "Kat" Haircut

Ellie has wanted to cut her hair off forever but I told her she had to wait till after ballet was over. So when it was getting close to time she told me she wanted her hair cut like Kat.  Kat is a cute blonde off of Survivors last season. And Ellie loved her. She cried and threw a fit when she got voted out and would get mad at us every time we said we didn't like her. So when she came up with the Kat haircut I was not suprised. I laughed so hard when it was hair cut day and she insisted taking a picture of Kat in so Char knew exactly how she wanted her hair cut.  After all is said and done she looks so big and absolutely adorable!  I love my big girl. She is all ready for Kindergarten now, shots and all!

 

Do you see the resemblance? 

Ellie's First Year of T-Ball

After watching Ellie's first T-ball game, I wondered how my mom handled watching this over and over every summer with all of my sisters. It seriously was the best laugh I have had in a LONG time.  From kids crying because other kids took their ball, to throwing the bat, running the wrong way around the bases, they did it all.  I cannot wait for the rest of the games.  I laugh because my Ellie thinks she knows everything about softball since she comes to practice with me almost on a daily basis. She is so naughty that she has even told her coach that she doesn't know anything and my mom knows everything because she is a real coach! LOL She is quite the competitor too. During this game Ellie was out in the middle of the field taunting the OTHER coach saying she was going to win.  It was to the point that she threw her mitt on the ground and put her sassy little hands on her hips and taunted him. He just looked at her and shook his head like "who the hell is this kid." She is quite the entertainer. Gotta love a little Ellie Sass!!!

P.S. Ellie is the one with the black sweatshirt on. We were lucky enough to get Ellie's friend Fallon on our team and also her 2nd cousins Abree and Rylee. It has been so fun for Ellie to have these girls with her during dance and now t-ball!!!

2012 Dance Recital

 

Our cute little family. (I promise you it's VERY HARD to take pictures with out our #2 princess. Every time I look at a family picture we take with out her in it I always get the feeling that someone is missing... It brings tears to my eyes almost every time. We sure feel a big void with out that little lady!!! )

 Ellie loved her dance group this year. She loved the songs and would sing them over and over everyday.  I hope she wants to dance again but we will see when august rolls around. She is pretty persistent on wanting to do tumbling. We sure love our little Ellie, drama and all.... I love how she is persistent and will not stop until she gets what she wants or works till it's done.  She is our #1 Princess!!!

 One of My Favorite pictures of my little ballerina!!!

All the Darrington girlies together!!!

My Life for the last 3 months...

 

We work hard and dedicate ourselves to these girls... But really, we play way more then we work!!!

Softball Season has come and gone. We always start at the end of February and end at the end of May.  This year it has been no different.  At the beginning of the season we started out very NEW. By new I mean we had a bunch of new FRESHMAN that have never played the sport before! I feel like we were at a starting over point. And let me tell ya at moments it was UGLY!!! But we worked it out and grew together.  In the end all of the girls worked hard and their dedication payed off, we were district champions and made it to state.  Our goal this year was to make it to state and bring home some hardware. And wouldn't you know it... the girls worked hard and never gave up and we brought home Consolation Champions 4th Place hardware...

So proud of these girls.

I love this time of year too because not only do I have 2 daughters of my own but I get to claim 15 more for a short time....

Happy Mothers Day to all the Wonderful Women in our lives!!!

 

 

We are missing Grandma Lillian but I did get to call her and wish her a Happy Mothers day. Thanks to all of you for loving and supporting us at all times. We love you more then words can say....  

In this picture I am holding my beautiful Ellie, wearing a picture of Jayci around my neck and cooking princess #3.  I am one lucky Mama to have been blessed with 3 princesses. Whether I have my girls with me here and now or up in heaven. I know they are mine and they know they are loved....

Happy Mother's Day!!!  

SUPRISE 30th

SHOCK FACE.... 

 

 Loving that big ole prego belly... 

(Before I really start on this post can I just say I HATE surprises.)

For a week Layne has been saying we are going on a date Friday for your birthday/mother's day. I of course was happy to go because we have been super busy doing our own things and haven't spent much time together.  Which is very unlike us. We are typically every weekend or every other weekend daters. So it was time.  I was also super excited about going to dinner and movie and just RELAXING!!!

Rewind another few days: Layne and I were talking about how much I hate surprises and the fact that I would never have to worry about that with him because he's not that kind of husband. I said to him in these exact words (excuse the french)  "I'd shit down both legs if you ever pulled something like that off."   (Open mouth, Insert a big, fat shoe!!!)

So Friday rolled around and it just so happened that I talked my Mom into coming down for a visit. I have been wanting to see her forever and just haven't had the time nor the extra funds to get up and see her. So she was coming down friday and was going to watch Ellie.  We planned on her getting here around 5 and us leaving around 6:30.  Of course I was just so excited to get out of the house I didn't really do my hair and barley put on any make up. Just enough to make it look like I hadn't been in my sweats all day like I was.  

When Layne gets home I'm sitting and visiting with my Mom I get up and get ready.  So it's about 6:30 I can tell he is a little annoyed that I wasn't ready yet but you know no big deal! We were going to be to late to go to the early show and we didn't need to be home early because my mom was there so I was in no big hurry.  Once we finally get out of the house at 6:50ish I was looking forward to our night out.  But what I wasn't expecting was Layne to pull over at the shop and tell me he has kind of a surprise for me. I'm like whatever, hurry up so we can get on our way.  He takes his coat out of the back seat rolls it up and ties it around my remember not so pretty hair or makeup.  

After what seems like 20 minutes of driving all over this country. And him asking me every 2 seconds, What do you see? Me calling him and idiot and telling him he's retarded and who knows what else. We finally stop and he says to me remember the first time we parked on the canal bank? I'm thinking what are you smoking that anything is going to go down on the canal bank during the day.... HAHAHA He tightens the huge coat around my head and takes me on a walk in grass and all I can hear is a dog barking. and my only thought was there isn't a dog near the canal that we went...  He walks me into a room takes off the blind fold and BAMMMMM there were all my very close friends and theirs husbands yelling. 

SURPRISE!!!

Are you kidding me. I WAS SHOCKED!!! And I don't even know if that is what I was feeling. I feel so bad for being so mean to my husband the whole time to find out that him and the other two coaches I have been working with EVERYDAY, and Kenna have been planning this party for weeks! WEEKS!!!! and I had no clue.  Can I just say that I saw every single one of those girls that week and no one of them slipped up.  Oh I was a little bugged, but in a good way.  They had planned it out so well that my MOM had known about it for weeks because she sent down LOVELY pictures of me growing up for the slide show... It's pretty good I'll have to post it later so you all can get a good laugh. I was basically MORTIFIED!!!  All I have to say about it all is that I know I am loved and I am so very lucky to have the friends that I do.  They are all truly one of a kind.  I am so lucky I have had them this past year. I don't know what I would do with out them helping me along and giving me a shoulder to cry on. Every single one of them has gone above and beyond what any friend should be asked to do.  And can I just say I'm the luckiest gal in the world getting to be married to my sweet and sexy husband.  He is so good to me and I am so lucky to have him. So many days go bye that I don't tell him thank you or let him know how much I love him. Since losing Jayci we have definitely had our moments but he is now more then ever the truest friend I have ever had. And I am lucky to spend all eternity with him.  

To say I was surprised is an understatement. But mainly I am lucky to have all of my dearest friends, my husband, my sweet Ellie bug and my mom and sister with me to celebrate my 30th birthday with a pinata to boot! 

Thank you all so much I LOVE YOU dearly! We are so blessed to have eachother in our lives!!!

Happy Mothers Day!

Yesterday was a great day!
These are some of my favorite pictures of the day.
I love my Ellie and I love my Hubby!
I miss my angel but I know she is always with me. 
I laugh because there isn't a picture of us all together, we had to take turns taking pictures of each other.

I am very blessed!!!

 

 

 

 

TWINNERS!!!

These Twinner are quite popular around my house. Ellie is always wanting to go over and see them and hold them. I have a playdate with my old roommates from college once a month and these girls are there. Ellie loves them because she says their mom trusts her to carry them. It makes me a nervous wreck but she does do very good with them. I can't even imagine having twins but I love to see these two quite often. They are adorable.

Dance Camp!

 

 

 

Baby Girl #3

 

 

First Wienie Roast of the Year

April 29, 2012

This is before pictures of our wienie roast. I was having such a good time I forgot to pull out my camera. But it was a fun evening and of course the lovely wind blew the whole time and quit when we were all done.
Gotta love Idaho winds...